I’m excited to post my first song! Words and music are yin and yang, a balance of meaning and mattering. Please resist the temptation to just read the lyrics…
I was inspired to write “At the Podium” by my daughter
’s eye-opening book, Permission to Speak: How to Change What Power Sounds Like, Starting With You.
Samara is on a mission to liberate us from “voice bias” – from the quick judgments we all make about people based on the first few words we hear them speak, and, from the internal point of view, from the fear that we somehow don’t sound right, that our voice is too high, too low, not strong enough, too strong, or countless other criticisms that women in particular, but also many others, have heard, sometimes even in childhood, and taken in too deeply. When it comes to speaking up in moments that matter, we have allowed other people’s “shoulds” to constrain or misdirect us.
Changing this is not about changing your voice, Samara says, but about changing your relationship with your voice!
Why do I still write songs?
I’m 75. I’m never going to be an in-demand performer. So why?
Because I can say in songs what I would not dare to attempt in words. Because to try to express in words what music contributes could only lead to impossibly flowery bullshit and sophomoric descriptions of what even I as the writer am not totally sure of the meaning of. I have to feel into it, and that takes music. Thank god for music, since we would otherwise be awash in oceans of time-sucking, wanna-be-right metaphors and cliches and still miles from sharing the feeling that underlies the thing.
I recommend headphones for intimacy.
At the Podium
© 2023 Nancy Ellen Abrams
She walked up to the podium. Her heart was in her throat
Clutching in a sweaty palm her wilting page of notes
Everything rested on tonight. She knew she knew her stuff
But she was up against a man. She needed to look tough
Lights were shining in her eyes. A sea of faces stared
Her breath came fast, and she was sure she’d picked the wrong thing to wear
How crazy is this world, she thought, that not to be outdone
I have to play months of charades for this race to be won
She ran a mental checklist of all she’d been advised to do
Lower your voice, take a power stance, don't get emotional – that’s taboo
Well prepared, she’d memorized her intro plus a joke
But all that came to mind right now was, it felt like she might choke
Focus! She demanded, and her brain did do its part
But her body was in fight or flight, her mind miles from her heart
On the treadmill in her mind wild outcomes cycled ‘round
She gripped the wood, her knuckles white, to calm the flutter down
Somewhere there’s a power deep in every mind
Somewhere there’s a power not easy to find
Somewhere there’s a power that belongs to womanhood
A fierce, primeval force for life buried beneath the shoulds
He stood ten feet across the stage a smirk upon his face
Certain that his opening words had already won this race
As she hesitated, he leaned into his mic
And made a crude crack about her. His people hooted with delight
She walked up to his podium, vibrating with rage
Grabbed his mic right off the stand and strode to center stage
Shaking, she took in the room, made herself breathe deep
And waited till the furor died -- all these people, and not a peep
There was something about the moment, as if it drew a line
Between the her she used to be and the her of this new time
She was simply certain she was the one that had to lead
She could not let this bully win. She thought, “I have what they need”
No podium to hide behind, she’d had enough of fear
She was gonna tell the truth tonight, or why else was she here?
She ditched the joke and intro, felt hope rising from the crowd
She raised his mic up to her lips and let herself care out loud
Somewhere there’s a power deep in every mind
Somewhere there’s a power not easy to find
Somewhere there’s a power that belongs to womanhood
A fierce, primeval force for life buried beneath the shoulds
Armor reflects the sun
You feel like the invincible one
But the truth of your soul
Only shines through the holes
That’s how trust is won
That’s how trust is won
"let herself care out loud": I love that. Thank you!